Singleness in Our Country is a Confusing Conundrum

I write this on the eve of Valentine’s Day, the Hallmark holiday of consumer love and celebration. According to one news outlet, “Valentine's Day spending on significant others is expected to hit a record $14.2 billion this year” (nbcnews.com).

Maybe you will go all out this Valentine’s Day with roses, a nice dinner, and a box of chocolates (Forest Gump style). But what about those who endure this affectionate holiday like one endures an annual visit to the dentist?

While it’s good to celebrate love, romance, and marriage, Valentine’s Day for many is a holiday they would rather skip.

Singleness in our country is a confusing conundrum. Even with singleness on the rise (census.gov), remaining single can still be seen as an undesirable choice, as though the single person is the one left on the sidelines of the dance of life. 

Singleness is often defined in the negative, as the absence of fulfillment, the state of unmarried (Allberry, 7 Myths about Singleness). In our culture, and in the church, marriage is the standard, and singleness is just a step or two below. It is often assumed that singleness is a temporary state of transition until such a time as one becomes “whole” by finding his or her “soulmate.”

The Bible, however, tells a different story. 

The Apostle Paul declared that singleness and marriage are both gifts from God (1 Corinthians 7:7). From the creation account in Genesis, male and female were created in the image of God, and our fullness is in Him, not in our marital status (Genesis 1:27). If marriage is a prerequisite to wholeness, even Jesus, being single, would have fallen short.

Yes, the Bible upholds the value of marriage, but it also affirms the value of singleness. When God performed the first wedding ceremony in the Garden of Eden, He demonstrated His blessing on this holy union (Genesis 2:21-25). But Jesus made it very clear that marriage is not an eternal institution (Matthew 22:30); it is a foreshadowing of our union with our Bridegroom, Jesus. 

Therefore, the Apostle Paul said to the church in Corinth, “I have promised you in marriage to one husband—to present a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2, CSB). If you are married, honor the Lord in your marriage as a witness to our holy union with Christ. If you are single, honor the Lord in your singleness as a witness to the family of God that brings all of us together through Christ.

King David once wrote, “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6, NIV). If you are single and a follower of Jesus, you are part of a family whose blood flows from the veins of Christ. Our eternal bond is not determined by biology but by our adoption as children of God. “God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children” (Galatians 4:5, NLT).

This Valentine’s Day, whether you are single or married, be sure to celebrate the “love of Christ that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled with all fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19, ESV). And, if you’re so inclined, buy some flowers and a box of chocolates. Forest Gump would be proud.