10/07/2025
In our country, there is a certain level of pride to being an individualist. “He’s a self-made man.” Or, “Look at what she had to overcome to get where she is today.” As though she became a success all by herself.
Our American Individualism can easily infiltrate our faith. We have our personal devotions or our own quiet time. We practice our spiritual disciplines by ourselves. We attend church, but often sit alone.
Dutch social psychologist Geert Hofstede conducted a recent study measuring the degree to which individuals of a given country were integrated into groups and communities. He summarized the results by assigning a score to each nation studied based on how individualistic its citizens tended to be.
Any guesses on where the United States ranks? With a score of 91 on the Hofstede Scale of Individualism, the United States ranks number one as the world’s most individualistic nation. What’s fascinating, though, is how abnormal the US scored in comparison to other nations, which had an average score of 39 (clearlycultural.com, 12.16.22).
We may be proud individualistic Americans, but we’ve never been lonelier.
We live in a culture saturated with counterfeit connections. Sherry Turkle, MIT professor and author of Alone Together, has spent the last fifteen years studying how technology has re-shaped the way we think and interact with others. She claims that all our technological devices have produced a world where we’re constantly communicating but seldom conversing.
We have counterfeit connections.
In 2008, Hal Niedzviecki wrote an article for The New York Times, reflecting on the current state of his online friends. He invited his 700 Facebook friends to join him for a party at a local bar. Sixty people indicated that they might attend. And how many actually came? Zero. He concludes his article by writing, “Seven hundred friends, and I was drinking alone” (Alone Together, 1).
How do we move from counterfeit to authentic connections? By implementing what the New Testament writers call allelon, the Greek word meaning “each other” or “one another.” The word is used about one-hundred times and is often preceded by a practical relationship principle of some sort: “serve one another” “forgive each other,” “submit to one another,” “pray for each other,” “encourage one another,” “comfort one another” (When Your Way Isn’t Working, 172).
In other words, authentic connections require action. We’re not just IN relationships; we DO relationships. We act in the best interest of the other (Philippians 2:4). We schedule time for each other. We actively listen to one another. If we want to be friends, we have to act like it. And most likely that means we’ll have to stop looking at our screens and start looking out for others. The best way for us to grow individually is by living communally.
Let me ask you: What are you doing to move beyond counterfeit to authentic connections?
The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.”
The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”
(1 Corinthians 12:21, NLT)
